Vinnie Jones

Big Chris

Jason Flemyng

Tom

Dexter Fletcher

Soap

Nick Moran

Eddy

Jason Statham

Bacon

Steven Mackintosh

Winston

Nicholas Rowe

J

Nick Marcq

Charles

Charles Forbes

Willie

Lenny McLean

Barry the Baptist

Peter McNicholl

Little Chris

P.H. Moriarty

'Hatchet' Harry Lonsdale

Frank Harper

Dog

Steve Sweeney

Plank

Huggy Leaver

Paul

Ronnie Fox

Mickey

Tony McMahon

John

Stephen Marcus

Nick the Greek

Vas Blackwood

Rory Breaker

Sting

JD

Jake Abraham

Dean

Rob Brydon

Traffic Warden

Stephen Callender-Ferrier

Lenny

Steve Collins

Boxing Gym Bouncer

Elwin 'Chopper' David

Nathan

Vera Day

Tanya

Jimmy Flint

Don

Alan Ford

Alan / Narrator

Sydney Golder

Phil

Alex Hall

Slick

John Houchin

Doorman

Derek Howard

Policeman

Danny John-Jules

Barfly Jack

Bal Jusar

Gordon

Tim Maurice-Jones

Drowning Man

Victor McGuire

Gary

Mark Mooney

Serg

Suzy Ratner

Gloria

David Reid

Samoan Jo

Graham Stevens

Policeman

James Tarbuck

John O'Driscoll

Andrew Tiernan

Man in Pub

Richard Vanstone

Frazer

Matthew Vaughn

Yuppy in Car